Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
This Will Rot More than Your Teeth
The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'
A Good Joke About a Husband
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
Famous South African Street Rocks Ahead of World Cup Kick Off
Schoolboys, their disheveled uniforms streaked with dust and faces dripping with sweat, boot a football across the road. Young children saunter along the sidewalk, blowing plastic trumpets, the shrill sound piercing the high, thin air. Vehicles flying the flag of South Africa speed past, hooters blaring, drivers' fists punching the air. Drummers pound out a furious rhythm on their instruments, accompanying a choir that sings "Ke nako, Ke nako" ("it is here") in a local Sotho dialect.
Rookie US Baseball Pitcher Makes Stellar Debut
Once in a great while, a young athlete bursts into professional sports and confirms lofty expectations of being an elite star. Stephen Strasburg made that kind of debut in North American Major League Baseball. Rarely has Washington's Nationals Park been filled to capacity since it opened in 2008. And, never before has a young pitcher ignited instant life into a struggling franchise as 21-year-old Stephen Strasburg did on Tuesday.
Strasburg threw 94 pitches, in seven innings, on the way to setting a club record with 14 strikeouts as Washington defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates, 5-2. Hall of Fame hitter Tony Gwynn was his coach at San Diego State.
Strasburg threw 94 pitches, in seven innings, on the way to setting a club record with 14 strikeouts as Washington defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates, 5-2. Hall of Fame hitter Tony Gwynn was his coach at San Diego State.
Easy English News
The news here is the same that you will find in the Bangkok Post except that it is much easier. I've included some of the vocabulary of the original stores, so you can learn several new words every day. Notice that you can listen to the text with the audio player below. You can also download the soundfile and play it back on your mp3 player.
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